How you can help someone with anger issues

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How you can help someone with anger issues

  • November 23, 2021
  • By Admin: Eleanor Medeiros
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Anger issues are no joke. They can be quite difficult to handle and traumatic to live through if they affect someone you care about. This is especially true if they direct that anger towards others who are close to them, towards you, or themselves. 


But what is anger in the first place? Well, there are various definitions, but they all reach somewhat similar conclusions. Namely, that it’s a natural response to threats. Moreover, anger is instinctive and necessary for survival, regardless of how bizarre it might sound.


Whatever the case, no one except us is responsible for our actions. The same goes for people who face anger difficulties. We can talk all we want about tips and tricks to help people with anger issues, but if they themselves are not ready to face them, it’s useless. 


However, if the angry person is ready to work on their aggressive behavior, there are quite a few things you can do to help. Handling people with anger issues is not easy, but it doesn’t have to be frustrating if you follow the following few tips.

Do Not Be Afraid

People who struggle with anger issues act impulsively most of the time. This can be pretty problematic for others around them. These outbursts can scare people in their vicinity, making them leave the scene. Although this is a normal reaction, it isn’t the best if you want to help someone with anger issues. It’s always best to stay alongside them and not be afraid of them expressing their anger.


Of course, if they have a tendency to physically abuse you, don’t hold back. Get out of there as soon as possible and call professionals immediately. Feeling unsafe around someone isn’t what you should cope with. There’s a fine line between having anger issues and expressing that anger by beating someone. Therefore, don’t hesitate to contact someone who can restrain the aggressive person for you.

Have More Patience

To handle someone when they’re angry, you firstly need to stay calm and show patience. Even if that means enduring personal difficulties, keeping composure is infectious in a good way. It will translate to the angry person and hopefully reduce their anger symptoms. But that’s not all. It’s also important to let them know that you’re present and ready to listen to their reasons for getting angry.

If it’s possible, allow the angry person time to express the way they feel. Of course, without any judgment. The opposite can make things even worse. However, the point is to make the angry person feel like they are being listened to. This is a proven way of making people more comfortable. They can also hear other people’s points of view, allowing them to invite rationality back into their minds.

Identify Your Limits

Helping someone control their anger doesn’t mean that you should suffer because of it. Moreover, it’s essential to set boundaries with the angry person. You should, therefore, firstly identify your limits and express what actions are acceptable for you to be present and provide help. If the other person crosses the line, don’t feel bad about walking away and not coming back until they take your limits seriously.


Like we’ve said, it’s not okay to put up with someone being physically abusive. This type of behavior is dangerous, so do call emergency services immediately. Dealing with anger issues that someone else has doesn’t mean that you should become a victim. What is more, we strongly suggest that you look after yourself and your mental health. After all, there’s no point in you becoming yet another victim of anger.

Encourage Them to Seek Professional Help

Aside from being helpful on your own, there’s nothing better than encouraging someone to visit professional help. Seeing psychiatrists and others who are specialized to manage your anger is better than anything else. After all, they’ve spent most of their lives working with people, so there’s no room for doubting their skills here. Luckily, there are numerous anger management courses out there these days, so it won’t be hard to find one.


However, for someone to admit they have a problem with any type of anger is a big task. Most of us ignore these issues, so it’s essential to encourage them. Aside from being supportive of their decision to check in, you can do two more things. Firstly, you can help arrange the meeting with their general practitioner. Furthermore, there’s always a helping hand to be found in searching for anger management courses.

Provide Constant Reassurance

Another important action you can take to help people who struggle with anger issues is to reassure them that it’s okay to feel angry. After all, we all get mad at some point for varying reasons, don’t we? Of course, that doesn’t mean that you should make them believe the way they express their feelings is okay if they’re violent or scare others. Just tell them that you understand that they’re upset and to take their time with it.


However, constant reassurance can be a slippery slope. Some people are addicted to having others tell them it’s okay. They might lash out even more due to the need for someone to reassure them. If you begin to see a pattern with this, it might be best to talk about seeing professional help. Like with most other things, being moderate is the key. Hence, keep your reassuring moments at an optimal level.

Rest and Give Them Space

Finally, our last tip is pretty simple. If you notice how your interventions and support are not making the angry person any better, leave it. Allow them space to find their way of dealing with the issue. Being intrusive on someone is just as bad as doing nothing or fueling their anger. 


If the situation calls for a more extreme approach, then don’t hesitate to even take a few days apart. Yep! Go visit your family and friends. Although this might seem counterproductive for your relationship with those suffering from anger issues, it’s not. It’s a great way to allow them time to rethink their actions. Giving an angry person space might also help them conclude how they need professional help too.